I thought it might be good to check in with you all on how I’ve been managing the money thing. I gave up my credit cards a good week and a half ago and like any addiction it isn’t an easy thing to overcome. This is how I’ve done; I bought a pair of wedges (in a color I do not have), a bunk bed cot for my boys that I’ve wanted for camping (I’m going to give it to them at Easter), four pairs of jeans for my son who grows super fast, and a Vitamix (yes, I know). I have to give myself a definite D- because none of the purchases were pre-approved by my husband and because yes, I still have been employing my wily ways. But I don’t get an F because I didn’t use credit cards to purchase any of them. I have more work to do in this area but I’ve confessed so at least it isn’t something I’m hiding.
On a more positive note, my husband and I did sit down and have the “budget talk” and there were no temper flares (my husband), no flurries of tears (me) and no blame. I didn’t get defensive and he didn’t show signs of denial that it is all me and not him. It was just a straight up adult conversation where we both openly discussed our money situation and what our goals for budgeting should be. I agreed with him completely and I feel very comfortable with what my part looks like. For the first time ever in our marriage I have felt like we are on the same team moving toward the same end result. That feels so good!
Because of this iron clad budget I won’t have the wiggle room to go rogue like I sometimes do. If I were to continue to spend like I did last week we won’t be eating, so that makes the stakes really high. We are talking weenies and beans people! Funny thing is I love a challenge and this definitely will be one. I can’t wait to blow my husband’s mind by all the ways I can cut costs and put more money on the bottom line for our dream. I feel invigorated and motivated, like I can add value. I feel empowered. That’s what dreams and goals can do for you.
Mark Batterson’s book, The Circle Maker: Praying Circles Around Your Biggest Dreams and Greatest Fears, has been one of the most faith inducing books I’ve ever read. There is so much to discuss from this book that I will have to come back to it many times as I blog. But one of the things Mark writes in reference to dreams and goals is this,
“When you dream, your mind forms a mental image that becomes both a picture of and a map to your destiny. That picture of the future is one dimension of faith, and the way you frame it is by circling it in prayer.”
He also writes,
“The simple act of imagining doesn’t just remap your mind; it forms a map. And that is the purpose of goal setting. If dreams are the destination, goals are the GPS that get you there.”
I can feel that map unfolding out before me and the dream coming into focus. But the best part is praying about it. I love how I can consult with God on these things and really lay them at His feet for approval or will or help or redirection. My husband has no idea that his dreams have been given up to God but the minute John asked for me to join him on a walk toward this specific dream of his, I invited God to direct and mold or even reconstruct that dream for His glory and purpose. I also asked God to protect our family from any snares of the devil or future hardship if these dreams are not appropriate for us. That is where the peace lies. I feel completely at peace with my role as the praying wife, my supportive spouse role and my role as contributing partner for this dream. Here is the gold; if this dream fails or blows up in our face, I’m completely at peace with that too. God is so good. He really does know how to bring peace that surpasses human understanding (Philippians 4:7) and He really will work all things together for our good (Romans 8:28). So, I’m back on track and really stepping out in faith that God is ultimately in control and I can feel free to continue to submit to my unbelieving husband in this way.
Desperately Seeking Sally 